I’m depressed ..

Idk if this is the right one to post this under but idc I just need to vent honestly. I’m just so fuckin bored I have nothing to do & no one to talk to... all I do is sit at home with my 10 week old... my boyfriend is out at his stupid cousins house. I forgot what it’s like to go out & have fun with friends.. && this corona virus thing going on is just making it 100x worse. I’m so lonely.. he gets mad when I bitch at him when he goes to see his cousin (it’s the only friend he has) but it’s because I’m so fucking lonely & being by myself is depressing. What makes it worse is I have PPD. I used to have SO MUCH FUN ALL OF THE TIME. When I got pregnant I got morning sickness so fucking bad omg I couldn’t leave the house! It started to sorta lighten up so I started hanging out with my best friend & kinda doing stuff.. then I got bigger I was still doing stuff but as I got bigger I was in more & more pain... there was a lot of drama going on with my boyfriend & I at the time (it’s all better now) anyway after our son was born he took time off of work & school to stay home with our son.. which wasn’t bad but after I had our baby I never wanted to go out or do anything not even go on walks.. I went with my friend one time but I had to take my son because I breast feed & I could t just leave him at home. Look I love my son so fucking much he’s the light of my life but sometimes I need a break you know? The thing was is my friend lives an hour away I have milk pumped but me going an hour away, 2 hours round trip it just wasn’t going to work. I just wish I had friends near me.. someone to talk to about my feelings.. I really need a hug.. now I can’t even talk to a therapist because of this corona virus.. even though I couldn’t tell them completely how I feel.. I am kinda suicidal I am not planning to kill myself it’s just thoughts you know? They’re gonna lock me up in a mental hospital or something.. it’s just apart of the PPD I guess. I just can’t handle feeling this way & not being able to let it out.. I try to tel my boyfriend but he’s not the type to talk about this stuff.. thinks I’m exaggerating.. he’s not mean about it but he still thinks it. I’m just stuck.. idk what to do.. there’s nothing anyone can tell me that’ll fix it.. I just want one day to not be cooped up in this house & be able to see my best friend JUST ME. I feel like I’m going to have a nervous breakdown but I can’t have one of those because I’m a mom I have to stay strong for my son! Not show any of this because I can’t let him see that or feel that😞