I've been having a rough time with this pregnancy and I'm not feeling... anything... really about this pregnancy. Spotting, bleeding and cramping since about 6 weeks (now 11w3d.) In an early ER visit I was told it was an ectopic pregnancy. At my OB-GYN a few days later we saw a gestational sac but no baby (HCG levels normal) and I was told a possible blighted ovum. A couple days later, suddenly and unexpectedly I lost my mother.

A couple weeks later at the OB, we did another US and saw a 7w2d baby with a HR of 152 bpm. I was so relieved, but the spotting, bleeding and cramping still continued. Bc of this I don't want to get my hopes up and become attached only to lose the baby. I don't know if I could handle losing my mom and a baby one after another.

I've told my husband that I will start getting more excited if the baby and I are okay at this next 12wk appt. Today he sends me a list of everything that needs to be done, moved, and bought for this baby. I feel bad bc I feel the few people I've told are more excited about this baby than I am.

What happens if I go to this next appt and my feelings don't change bc I've been guarding my heart for too long? Has anyone experienced something similar? Did you finally get to feel excited for your pregnancy once all was okay?