Confused

I had a miscarriage about a year and a half ago. I bled 5weeks after the baby had died. The baby died at 9weeks, and i didn't start bleeding until my 14-15th week. At the time, I obviously cried and was upset, but I really didn't feel any connection and I'm so curious as to why I still kind of don't? I don't get choked up or anything when I talk about it. I got the fetus out vaginally by pills and I felt so bad because I didn't know how else to do it. That was probably the most emotional thing about it. I don't know, maybe I'm just to numb to emotion already.