This is stupid

I shouldn't have had another baby. I cant stand it most days. I hate everything about having a baby. I don't want to hold her all the time. I just want to be left alone. I don't ever get a break and I'm exhausted.* I just needed to vent. Baby was not in any danger, she is loved and cared for. My relationship is tumultuous and it's me caring for 4 kids most days alone. I never thought I wanted kids, let alone 4! Having a baby is hard and I doubt most women ever say how they really feel. Thank you to the woman suggesting adoption, that was really out there and in no way helpful but it did remind me that as hard as this is I love my baby...