❗️ it’s long and probably confusing I tried my best to write it good so sorry in advance!

I have this friend and we have been friends since my freshman year of high school . well I’m 18 & he’s 20 and this year he’s focused on himself and getting to where he wants to be and I’m going to school . ( well not anymore covid19 made college classes into online school which I don’t like 😭 )

When we were in high school , we stayed friends the whole time . We flirted & he liked me & I always flew past his comments but I felt butterflies near him and when he touched me ( hugs or when he smiles at me )but at that time didn’t know what it means so it was just that , never took it a step further .

before I continue let me just say that my junior year of high school just before he graduated , I confessed to my girl friend that I actually liked this dude and she was like girl I been knew that .

Summer 2019 , we kissed for the first time and it was just everything , I felt butterflies like I always do around him . We hunged out and talked for hours and it didn’t seem like it tbh .

I went on a trip to somewhere he’s never been and I brought him somethings & on his birthday, I gave it to him and he put it on in my car as soon as I handed it to him and gave me a hug ( it was so awkward cause I didn’t know he was giving me one 😂 ) , he said it’s special because it came from me & that he loves it and so far till this day he says he’s never took it off and I believe him cause in ALL the pictures I see it , we snap each other everyday and I see it lol .

This feb , we went to the movies . My dumbass only took cash and he decided to pay with card at a self service so he payed for me & I tried to give him the money twice but he refused . At the movies he sat to the left of me . Once it got dark and the movie started . We were good and I thought everything was normal like if it was just two friends watching a movie until he decided to put his arm around me . I looked at him and was like what are you doing and just laughed ( ig I was nervous) and he just looked at me and smiled . So we got comfortable with his arm around me and us holding hands .

Then he decides to start kissing my cheek here and there . So my bold ass was like do you want a kiss ? and he looked at my lips so I just kissed him . And it was like that through out the movie .

After the movie I took him to his apartment and we just made out in the car until I had like 20 mins to get home bc my curfew 😂 .

^ that was the first time we went to the movies

Anyways now we are in April and we still text everyday clearly I do have feelings for him still . I’m just always thinking about him and then what’s weird to me is I’ll randomly just think about him and then my phone dings and it’s home lol .

I had to do a “background” of our recent encounters because idk if he likes me or if he sees something with me in the future . me and him made a deal that nothing will come between our friendship . I love him as a friend . But I want more with him . So my questions are

Should I ask him if he sees something with me in the near future ? Like pretty much what are our plans in our friendship ? Or if we do not have any plans and just staying friends . And if we are staying friends then we can’t kiss and etc anymore cause that will just hurt both of us in the process .

I want to know those answers because if not I’ll have to move on and just be friends with him and we are capable of doing that , we’ve done it before 😂 .

I’m the type of person that if I like someone or if I know I’m doing something with someone , I can’t do the same thing or talk with someone else unless I’ve talked to them first . I just need to talk to him , figure out what he wants . But I’m scared as to what he would say .

Help a girl out .