Idk where else to post

So I figured this is the only place I can write this and people will actually see it. I don't care if anyone does really but hell why not. i don't care if there are commsnts, if people have a problem with it, or whatever, I just need to vent.

So here is my pathetic story. I am 19, married to a 21 year old military man and though I have plenty of blessings I feel so damn depressed.

I have my husband and that is it and even then he cannot relate to my problems. I have been married since May 26, 2014 and that was 2 days after graduation, and 10 days after my 18th birthday. I moved with my husband over 1,000 miles away to a state and to a base that is in freaking no where. I love it but at an eaual standing I hate it. My husband has a comfty job hasn't deployed and is very likely not to for a long while and is likely to not have to PCS almost ever. But on the other hand no one here likes me or really cares to be my friend. I'm a young, childless, left-winger, atheist (don't really lable myself but that's what I would be called if need be), die hard gamer/super nerd, who isn't into conventional girly girl things, and am not a big socialite (but still somewhat one). Because all of that and living where we live I have no friends. I have met 4 people and all of them are more or less acquaintances. My depression and anxiety have been so crippling since being here (I have had it all my life but now it has reached a new high) I cannot drive or push myself to get a job. Well finally I was fed up with feeling the way I do I went to my doctor and she prescribed me Lexapro (an anti-depressant). Within 16 days after it set in I guess (and being my age I'm in the black box warning side) I got severely suicidal, worse than I ever had before. I basically was in a manic state and ended up cutting myself worse than ever. I could have calmed myself just by waking up my husband or having a friend to talk to, but I just needed to know I could stop my meds. My docter was unavailable for 3 days so I went to the hospital. They treated my like a psychpath/criminal and sent me over an hour away to a psych hospital. The hospital was absolute shit, falsely diagnosed me, and forced me to take meds I wanted to refuse. I was there for 6 days but mainly so they could suck as much as my insurance would allow. The people I knew pretended as if nothing happened. That hurts pretty bad. I have nothing it seems. I'm so stressed and have no clue what to do. College isn't an option (reasons), a job isn't improbable but I can't as of the moment, and I have put myself out there so many times and friendship has yet to be reciprocated. I haven't really had anyone since my Junior year in high school. So I feel broken. I've gained 60 pounds, not sure if I'm able to have kids, have nothing to contribute to my marriage, no one cares to be my friend, and I feel like I will never take control over my mental illness. I don't know what to do. I feel so hopless and am ready to give up.