Recently had my third and last child. My first two were formula fed, not by choice. My first, I didn't produce any milk and my second was tongue tied and not diagnosed till later on which made nursing painful.

I've always dreamt about being able to nurse my children and have that "connection". Not getting bottles ready in the middle of the night? No bottles to wash?? Yesss. No need to spend hundreds in formula and not to mention all of the nutritional/developmental/emotional benefits.

My daughter was born at 29 weeks so I pumped every 3 hours for over 7 weeks, delivering to NICU. It wasn't ideal, but that's the least I could do... anything to help my baby girl's growth.

Since it was impossible for me to strictly nurse her, she was both bottle/breastfed by the time she was discharged. Fast forward to now, she's 3 months and pretty much breast fed. I feel awful but I hate it. Seems like I'm nursing all day, can't get anything done, and by the time I'm done nursing, it's time to nurse again.

I tried pumping and feeding her, but that's as time consuming. I AM TIRED and I feel so bad I can't be available to my other children. I'm ready to just give in and purchase formula..

But the thought of not giving my preemie breastmilk due to the above reasons make me feel extremely selfish. From experience, I know time flies and I want to enjoy every moment with her being small..

As I'm typing, I'm realizing I feel an immense guilt not being as available to my other children. Going from 2 kids to 3 is a lot more than I had imagined!

I'm just so thankful my husband is working from home and he's an active dad. Exhausted is an understatement!!