So here I am trying to talk to someone about my problems. This morning my bf and I have the same online class , we were both sleeping on ft and we had an exam today. I woke up shuffling around cause we were late , the exam was gonna begin and I was trying to wake him up and he wouldn’t , so the second that I got quiet and stopped calling his name , he woke up and I was on my laptop trying to get into the online session. He wakes up and is mad at me because he thought I didn’t try hard enough to wake him up even though we both woke up one minute apart. And I’m like okay whatever sorry about it. And then he fucking brings up how I retweeted some shit on Twitter like a tik tok about a girl in a relationship where her bf tells her what to do and what to wear - basically controlling and it brings her down and there was a quote tweet that was like “this is also abusive in a relationship” blah blah. And he confronts me asking me if it was about him and I said no cause he’s not really like that (not that I go out that much or dress up in slutty outfits for him to act like it ) but he still thinks that he’s like this and I tell him if u think ur like that then it could be about u , I haven’t seen u be like that so idk. And then he basically tells me that if I ever wear a tube top outside without him around he’ll break up with me and I’m like ok whatever, I’d only be comfortable enough to wear it with him anyways. And then he gets mad because I once said that I went out with my best friend who comes here in the summer and I went out with her dressed up in revealing clothes and hung up together and he was like he wouldn’t be okay with me dressing slutty if she were to come here this summer. And I’m telling him that I wouldn’t dress slutty but what if I did ? Why would he just threaten to break up with me. It’s the principal behind it. And he just goes on to say that he hopes some guy just feels me up cause I’ll be asking for it and then I can’t complain if they do. He brings up when a family member did something when I was asleep (which is a very sensitive topic cause I feel fucking shitty thinking about it) , it was basically assault. And he said that it already happened once he wouldn’t be fine if it happened again, but like obviously I wouldn’t be ok if it happened again the fuck. I’m aware but he can’t just get mad at me for a hypothetical situation where I’m telling him that what if I did wear a tube top out side when I’m with friends , but he immediately thought I’d only do that because I want guys to look at me and get hard and fucking come talk to me. And then he says “you’re just like my fucking ex, I thought I left all that behind , guess not”. That fucking hurt cause what the fuck. I’m already feeling shitty cause he brought up that situation I was in and on top of that he’s saying that and he’s calling me disgusting and trash (ALL while we’re taking a fucking exam) like I’m so tired we fight about the smallest things and it’s always things he brings up and gets up and then when I express an ounce of frustration - I’m suddenly acting as a victim or I “have no reason to be upset”. It’s so draining , like I feel my heart just feels so tired. He basically talks more about the post and doesn’t understand what’s so bad about a girls bf wanting her to be safe and not wanting other guys to enjoy her blah blah and I told him that’s not how it is.... we talk more and I hang up cause my dad asked me to do something , I did and cried so much cause I just felt so down about myself - thinking back to his words. So I told him that we should break up cause I can’t do this shit anymore (it’s really not just this situation, it’s so much shit that we argue about ) idk , he said bye and hung up. maybe I’m wrong or maybe I’m the problem , I just don’t know . It’s like I always wake up to something.

Also , he’s not a bad guy, he has a good heart , when he’s good he’s such a good boyfriend but he literally finds something to be hurt about all the time , his insecurity , He thinks I’m not affectionate enough, he can’t have sex with me more than once a day, I let some guy compliment me , scenarios in his head , sometimes he assumes I’m ignoring him so he gets angry about that , it’s just literal stuff in his own head that he thinks I did or even if he doesn’t think I did it , he’ll still get upset. Like WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT, how can I be better ? Idk how to be good , am I playing a victim ? I wish I could record this relationship so people would be able to tell me the problem