Single and broken

Me and my ex are done for good now. I love him so much I would’ve anything for him :( but he turned out to be a drug and alcohol addict, a cheater he’s just toxic ☹️

The plan was to try again but he got drunk again last night by himself and acted like a stupidly, in quarantine too. He also accidentally admitted to taking drugs and going out to get drugs during this time he’s selfish :(

How am I suppose to get over him when he gets with another girl, We’re both 17 he was my first love, both first everything. How am I going to get over that thinking about it makes me feel sick.

How am I suppose to even get over him, when I thought he was my soulmate. I just wanna forget about him, is it normal to feel suicidal? I just want everything to end I don’t wanna be without him. I was already suicidal before and depressed I don’t know how I’m supposed to do this 😢 how am I ever gunna love someone else it just seems weird to me. I really want to kill myself 😭