Boyfriend hates giving me head 😒


So my bf hates giving me head and i can just sense that because he barely ever does it. Maybe once every couple months and he only does it for a small bit and then stops. I feel self conscious thinking it’s because-of the smell down there (which he has mentioned he won’t give me head due to the smell being bad & no i dont have infections its just how my body has always been). Its driving me crazy though!!! I need him to give me head/touch me in order for me to be into sex at all, to even get horny, and if I’ll ever have a chance of actually orgasming. I used to ask him to do it and he’d be like “ehhh” and then wouldn’t do it. So now I don’t even bother asking because im afraid of getting rejected because that shit hurts me and fucks up my head.

So I’ve just been silently waiting for him to do it.. knowing he probably won’t. & its become an issue because i have a constant attitude towards him because he’s not giving me what i feel i need sexually. I have mentioned to him thats what i need from him and it never improves. We also have the problem that when he does actually do it I never really feel anything so he gets discouraged from doing it again... but i get so irritated with him that he waiting MoNtHs to even do it but mentally i need him to do it so i know he wants to give me that love and attention like i do with him. (I give him head like everyday). I don’t like feeling used & disgusting.