Guilty.

This is my second baby. It was planned. We only took 3 months to conceive. I feel guilty that it happened so easily for us. Being on this app it feels like everyone struggles to get pregnant and miscarriages are common. I want this baby. I really really do. But I can’t help feeling guilty that it happened so easily for us. It’s making it hard for me to be able to connect to my baby. With my son it was an unplanned pregnancy and I was instantly connected and in love with him but this time I often forget that I’m pregnant and find myself saying “if we do have the baby” assuming that I’m going to miscarry because I’ve never had one and it just feels like that it’s supposed to happen to everyone at least once. And I hate that I feel like this. Why am I not able to connect with this pregnancy the same as my first? Why do I feel like I’m not going to have this baby in December? I want it. I’ve wanted it for months. But I can’t accept that it’s actually happening.