Adult only parties vent

Diana • 34 years with 2 baby boys!
I'm sure that many will disagree with the this opinion, but I just need to vent!  Especially since my own parents disagree with me, and talked down to me like a child when I complained to them (mind you, I'm 31).  So I was invited to my "best friend's" engagement party, taking place tomorrow.  It's a brunch at 11am.  She actually wrote adults only on the invitation, and told me I can't bring my 7 month old, because she really just doesn't want kids around.  Yet she tells me that she loves my son, and she feels like he's her first nephew.  Now I'm breastfeeding, so I have to pump ahead to prepare for the hours I'll now be away from him.  And since my own parents were invited, I have to find childcare.  I understand that she's the bride and can do what she wants, but what happened to considering the feelings of others in your decisions, especially those close to you.  And it's not like if she invited him she would have 20 kids there.  No, it could have been just him.  There aren't young kids in her family.  None of her other friends have kids yet.  I'm just so mad that it is the norm here to say no kids, even at an afternoon party!  I should have rsvp'ed no, but then I'd feel bad that I hurt her feelings by not going.  I should probably also add that she's havin an adults only destination wedding forth of July weekend!  Ugh, maddening!!  Who wants to be away from their kids on the forth of July???