I want to speak up so bad but I’m terrified .

When I was 12 going on 13 ( I’m 22 now ) one of my older cousins.. started to touch on me & tried several times to have sex with me at that age forcing me to see things I didn’t wanna see and being nasty towards me ..

Me growing up as a teen I use to always wear jackets in the summer time winter time I had jackets on 24/7 I wore pants 24/7 .. I was just so uncomfortable my mom noticed it but never said anything and I’d always just tell her because I wanted to wear them despite it being 89 degrees outside ..

It was a time where I tried to open up to my mom about it but I never liked talking to her , I could never get through to her , even if I did say anything to her nothing was done I was ignored , overlooked , so I just kept quiet .. the relationship I had growing up with my mom wasn’t all that good when I started my period I was afraid to tell her i clamed up every time she’d try and talk to me about something like that I’d get uncomfortable or feel uneasy talking to her about it .

Well it’s taken me yearsssss to get over everything that’s happened to me..

Long story short yesterday he reached out to me Via Facebook video messenger he knows I’m closer to my youngest cousin so before he even said anything to me about what he wanted that’s all the conversation was about my cousin that I’m close to and everything they’ve done like going to Cali and stuff

He then says to me that he knows a way for me to make some quick money and I kept asking him what was he talking about , I hung up because my gut said to and when I did he called me back 3 times , me being a dummy answered it & he said it again and I yelled what the fuck are you talking about

And he told me to stop being dumb , and shows me his penis ..

I hung up and didn’t answer another call from him , I was crying hysterically because all the things that happened to me just came over me again and I had very vivid flashbacks ..

I remember the first time this mf has ever touched me , where it was , the color of the chair everything .. that literally traumatized me .