Scared to test

Has anyone been scared to take a pregnancy test? Last month I got two faint positives, I took a third looking for a BFP but it was negative and I got my period. I don't ever get PMS symptoms but I was having a lot of cramping so I'm assuming I had a miscarriage or a chemical pregnancy. Still don't quite understand that. This month I was supposed to get my period on the 2nd. Ever since the 4th I've had spotting. It's nothing like my periods. It varies from pink to a darkish red. I've had cramping all today with no change in the flow. I'm afraid to test again, get a positive then get my period again. Has this happened to anyone?