Do movies like 50 shades of gray normalize abuse?

Question

I have heard people say that Christain and Anastasia have an abusive relationship. Is this true? I personally think that Christain was pressuring her into the BDSM life style. She seemed scared and not very into it. He also followed her around and snuck into her house. What do you ladies think?

Accepted Answer

Totally! Coercing someone into kink isn’t right or normal! And they were terrible films!

Answer

Where it does romanize abuse. The bigger issue is the fact it paints the BDSM community in a horrible light. 
Safe, sane, consensual. Those are the rules. 50 shades shows none of that.

Answer

This is one of the many ads ran after 50 shades came out. Canada multiple as well. 
So if you think it doesn’t romanize abuse.  You may want to take a double take.

Answer

Yes. He controlled her life. Multiple examples. In one scene he literally drags her out of a bar with her friends cause he’s mad that she has friends and doesn’t like if she drinks, none of which had been previously discussed by them. It’s been years since I’ve read the books but they were terrible.

Answer

I highly doubt the movies make a point about the importance of consent in bdsm. But to be fair, I have not seen them.
I'm assuming they encouraged people who are outside the bdsm community to try bdsm things, and I figure that some of that would result in abusive situations. And I actually here there are issues with bad doms like that in the bdsm community. (I'm not part of it. As far as kink goes, I'm a general explorer, but I have dommed & have also been dommed lightly. But I'm not really that experienced.)
But really, a lot of movies encourage abuse and harassment, they romanticize it.

Answer

No. It’s a fictional story and doesn’t normalize anything any more then crime dramas do... If a person reads the story and finds it offensive or abusive then it is probably just not a lifestyle or kink they would ever be into. There are plenty of women (and men) that are drawn to having a dominant in the relationship and there is nothing abusive about that assuming they recognize the dominance as part of a shared fantasy and not applied to a level where one person has no voice in the total relationship.
I honestly think one of the funniest part of the story is the fact that the male character also happens to be a mogul billionaire and the female character ‘doesn’t care’ about his money... sure,.. because if a man who lived in his van down by the river said ‘let me take you to get some Taco Bell and afterwards I’ll tie you up and have sex with you on a 22 year old mattress in my home/van” so many women would be so into it I’m sure 😂

Answer

I thought their relationship was based on CONSENT. They use safe words if they are uncomfortable and respect each other. I have been in abusive situations and there's no consent or safe word or rules to save you.

Answer

I’m in between yes and no, really. I’m not a part of the BDSM community but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the lifestyle as long as it’s between consenting adults. 
I don’t think consent is an issue here. Before anything happened, Christian explained to her that he was into this lifestyle, explained to her what it entailed, and even sent her home with a contract that outlined hard limits and soft limits (his and hers), safe words, etc. She took the contract home and read it thoroughly and did her own independent research. They then met up for a dinner to discuss everything and she had an opportunity to ask him any questions she had. He was 100% upfront and straightforward with her about what he wanted/expected of her. He told her multiple times she could say no and leave at any time. She choose to stay. Even during any and all sexual acts if she ever said no he stopped immediately. 
Imagine the entire serious like a giant game of tug of war. They are both pulling and pushing on one another trying to find some middle ground. 
Ana mentions in the book that the rough sex turned her on and it confused her. Her mind was telling her it was wrong but her body was telling her otherwise. Christian was pulling on her trying to get her to understand that it’s okay to feel pleasure when you experience pain. 
As for Christian, he mentioned the reason why he liked the lifestyle was because he was a sadist and he liked punishing women who looked like his abusive mother. It was also fueled by his exposure to BDSM with an older women in his teen years. Ana was pulling on him to get him to understand that this is not a healthy way of thinking.
Now, where I have the problem is Christian does have some questionable traits and actions. He has extreme jealously and controlling issues which were 100% not okay. He thinks his relationship that he had in his teen years with a grown woman was normal. It was rape, molestation, and grooming of a child and I feel the book did not emphasize this enough. None of his behaviors here are okay no matter how much he tries to justify them. This is NOT normal and I feel the author should have made it completely clear. (The author tried but fell way short here)
I also feel like I should mention that I do think that Ana was too inexperienced to practice this level of BDSM safely and Christian should have realized that and never pursued her, though I don’t necessarily categorize that as abusive in and of itself. 
With all of that being said, I don’t think the books depict abuse exactly, but it definitely comes close and could easily be misunderstood by someone young, naive, or impressionable. But in reality the ones who choose to read this serious should realize that this is a fictional story with fictional characters and should not be used as a guide to life.

Answer

50 shades of gray paints the BDSM community to be something it’s not. Consent is ALWAYS important in BDSM, and it was not in 50 shades

Answer

I hate that movie!
Totally misleading!!!

Do movies like 50 shades of gray normalize abuse?

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