Engagement dilemma update

So guys, I made a post here the other day about how I wanted to be married to my boyfriend of 9 years. We have a 5 year old and have been living together for 8 years. I told you guys that I was going to have a talk with him to get his time frame/timeline because we have been discussing marriage for 2 years now and actually have broken up once because he said he never wanted to get married. Anyways he said he didn’t have a time line for our engagement or wedding. After the talk, he started acting weird with me(which I hate because I don’t like to open up to him about anything in fear that he will treat me different because he always does).

We DO have a time frame for our home that we buy next year. I feel as though if something is important to you, you’d have a time frame for it. So no time frame..maybe next year..maybe in the next 6 years. I love this man but marriage is important to me and I’m not gonna do without it. (I don’t want to hear that’s it’s just a piece of paper because it’s not).

I feel like I’m begging and at this point , we’ve had numerous talks where first he doesn’t believe in marriage, then he does but isn’t ready, then he is ready but doesn’t know when.

I don’t know guys. I do everything for this man but I’m tired of having talks. If it’s something he wants, it shouldn’t take all of that. I’m tired and I feel like I want to call it quits especially if we can’t have a conversation about how I feel without him treating me different, how would we even survive marriage.

Thanks for reading. I don’t have many friends &I needed this vent.

EDIT: Thank you ladies for reading and responding. @Brittany I’m 28 and he’s 30. He’s a trucker and is home for this week. I’ll probably speak with him tomorrow and let him know I need space because I get the feeling that he doesn’t want to marry me but want to keep me around so he’s saying that he does. I’m done with marriage “talks”.