Has anyone been through this or going through this?

Question

My husband and I were blessed with a healthy baby boy in December after 5 years of ttc and several losses. 
When i was pregnant we avoided sex throughout pregnancy because we were scared of another miscarriage, we only had sex when i was 10 days overdue to induce labour (it worked but ended up having an emergency c section).
My son is 19 weeks now and my husband and I are yet to have sex. I co sleep with my son as i exclusively breastfeed and he wakes often in the night to feed. I've tried putting him in his bassinet but it's so exhausting waking up every couple of hours to feed him. 
We just havnt found the time to have sex and im really starting to miss it. We are completely besotted with our son and are extremely grateful for him.
I just find myself thinking about the days before my son and how we used to enjoy sex. Now it just feels like a distant memory and its making me sad. 
Sometimes i feel a bit guilty for feeling like this because we longed for a child for so long and I know there are couples who who have been struggling for more than 5 years.
My husband and I havnt really talked about having sex again, he has joked a few times that our son has stolen me away from him lol. Im just really missing sex, we do cuddle and kiss but obviously thats not the same.

Answer

The baby can go in a bassinet for that much time. Or in a swing, or a pack and play, or a crib. Sex was Not something I was willing to sacrifice, so co sleeping was not an option, I just dealt with getting up to feed her every few hours. We started having sex again when I got the ok at my 6 week follow up, and maintain a very healthy and enjoyable sex life-generally 3-4 days a week(he works 24 hour shifts so we’re doin it every day he’s off lol) and none of it is out of obligation. Yes i was tired in those first few months after she was born, but my relationship and bond with my husband was just as important to me so I made time. I am very glad I didn’t co sleep, and that she sleeps in her own room, cause it gives me and him time to ourselves that would have otherwise been omitted. My daughter gets my full attention all throughout the day. Those few hours me and him have to ourselves are very special and even more meaningful now, and we look forward to that time together. As far as the sex for u right now, Even if u just take like ten minutes, there is time. Obviously if u have to force it or don’t actually want to do it, then I wouldn’t force it.

Answer

Tell him you want him then and try to carve out some time.  SO and I rarely have sex for similar reasons but for both of us, there is so much more to a relationship than sex at this point.  However, when I want it, I tell him and make it very clear that I NEED it.  He might be turned on if you do that 😜

Answer

Yeah sex is hard to come by lol we didn't have sex really during pregnancy either I was always exhausted and felt huge. Seems like everytime we try now the baby end up crying in his bassinet and we stop lol try and do it when he takes his naps we snuck a few sessions in while he napped but yeah it's hard.

Answer

My husband and I have sex regularly and also had sex throughout our entire pregnancy.
I had an emergency c at 40 wks.
My son was in the nicu/ Picu for 2 months.
We bought him home last month. 
Our son is breast fed every 1-2 hours. And my tube machine fed every 3 hours on the dot. Machine feedings are 8 times in 24 hours, has to be manually set up by one of us as well as round the clock meds. Same time day and night.
I have no problem giving up sleep to ensure my child is A okay at all times.
I also have no problem ensuring my husband doesn’t miss out on cuddles, or sex so that neither one of them feels left out. 
I get many 2-3 hours of sleep a day. 
I also work put constantly, eat healthy and go to and schedule all of my sons appointments and check ups.
And take care of the house hold. 
I am a first time mom. 
But I feel like love and care is enough drive to be able to look after my family, while also looking after myself. 
if I need to crash and nap during the day for 20 -30 mins.
My husband has no problem taking over. 
I do not drink coffee or drink or and have never smoked anything in my life. 
I have severe adhd which is deff where my energy to non stop go go go comes from. 
I would suggest a routine and sticking to it as well as no longer co sleeping.
It can be dangerous. 
( not saying you are being that way) just that it is a risk to take.
and if your baby eats every 2-3 hours you should have a window of 2-3 hours of sleep between nursing.
So if his bed time is at 9pm ( my babies is, that’s after bath time) 
nurse at nine ( I do this and also, he gets extra mls from his machine) 
hold him the whole time, cuddle him until he is fed and asleep. 
Put him down in his crib.
go to bed at 9:30-10. 
Sleep till 12am or 11pm. 
Nurse again and feed and cuddle at 12.
Back in his crib till 2-3am
( you could sleep at these times, in your own bed with your man) 
next alarm would be at 5-6 am. 
This.
( more sleep for you guys, since sleep is the issue) 
my lil guy is wide awake at 6am until he is with me. Then instantly falls asleep again until 9am. ( another chance for you to sleep ) 
Which is perfect cuz his nursing’s and feeds are 2-3 hours apart. 
( I work out at 6 am, make my husband breakfast at 9am, nurse my son 8-9 am) 
And the day continues like this. With play time and husband time.
We tend to hav sex during the day and also early morning like 4 am or 1 am. 
 
Hope this helps. Schedules is just how I work.

Answer

I don’t get up to get baby for middle of the night feeds, husband does. He gets her, changes her, and hands her to me to feed. Make it a team effort. 
You can always schedule time for a quickie. Once baby is changed fed and happy put him down and focus on each other. Baby will be fine long enough for you two to have a moment together. As new parents, you have to nurture your marriage too.

Answer

If he’s anything like my husband just put on some lingerie and walk through the house after putting baby in bassinet. The baby can lay there long enough for yal to have some adult time.

Answer

The same thing happened to us after our second baby. We plan sex now. Not as much fun as before when we could just do it whenever the heck we wanted but it’s something fun to look forward to and I figure if I’m looking forward to sex with my husband then we’re doing okay.

Has anyone been through this or going through this?

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