Disappointed

In August my husband and I decided to start trying for baby #2 and o had my iud removed. He has gone back and forth so many times since then. Finally that last couple weeks he seemed like he was on board with yes for sure. Well friday night we did the deed and suddenly after he finished he says he doesnt think he wants another. Of coarse this upset me and I expressed my feelings and reasonings but all he hears is that I disagree with him and dont listen to him. Well we kept all our sons baby stuff to reuse amd moved it last spring because this was the plan and it's taking up space in closets and the dining room and shed so i asked him to give me a definite answer yes or no. He said no and when I walked away upset he tried to make me feel bad about being upset. Then he told me he never even wanted our son (we tried for 15 months to get pregnant with him) and that he was the next step on our relationship. He's said this in the past about getting married too. That it was the next step what people expected of us. So now I feel like the last 4.5 years have been a mistake and a lie and that he never told me the truth. How do I know he even loves us? I'm hurt I'm confused and all I want is to cry but he acts like its dumb for me to show my feelings. But it's ok for him to freak out over the narrative in his head that I'm already pregnant because I have sore boobs and heartburn that I've had consistently since November. Like I'm between 2 amd 9 days from my period.