Teaching kids to say “I’m sorry” is outdated advice

Now I’m no professional

And I would like to open up this discussion to hear what others have to say

I’ve spoken to different adults about the words I’m sorry and what they mean to them and how often they say the words and actually mean it

Multiple different people expressed that they often feel like they automatically say sorry as a response to any unwanted behavior no matter how small almost as a response to deflect any negative feeling that could come for the action

But they don’t actually mean it

Often saying I’m sorry sarcastically as well

Ive began wondering if this is because we are taught to say I’m sorry , rather than taught to apologize

I don’t know about everyone’s family’s, but I was often told to say I’m sorry.

For example, if I kicked my brother, I would be told to say I’m sorry then go to my room to think about what I did.

Now, I had a drivers ed teacher who on the otherhand, told me she that she’s never told her son to say sorry.

She said that he learned to say it through teaching and watching her say it.

So let’s say if I was her daughter, And I kicked my brother.

Her punishment would be me going straight to me room.

After I calm down and had a few minutes to think, she would ask me if I understood why I was in trouble, and I would have to explain what I did, why I did it, and why it wasn’t the proper response and say I will not do it again.

And if I want to, I say sorry to my brother, but it’s never expected to.

She said despite her never really forcing her son to say he’s sorry, he still said it when he needed to.

She said the goal was not to apologize, the goal was changed behavior.

It’s been on my mind often and it makes sense to think that maybe what I grew up with (and many others from what I’ve heard) wasn’t the proper way to deal with it. Because it seems like we are taking away from the word the more often we say it especially without meaning it.