To try or not to try?

So I'm getting my nexplanon implant removed finally after almost 3 years. For the love of God I couldn't find a doctor to remove it they always had some excuse or long process as to why they couldn't do it. Then I remembered planned parenthood is a thing and I finally have an appointment to get the horrid thing out after a year of calling offices. BUT I do not do well with other forms of birth control so I'm struggling with the idea of only using condoms as protection. We have always used condoms anyway but not having the alternate birth control as a backup is giving me anxiety. I don't plan to get pregnant anytime soon but I also wouldn't mind a happy accident. He doesn't have an input on alternate birth control because he thinks just condoms are fine. Part of me wants to do just that and if I get pregnant then oops but yay. And the other part of me is terrified and will willingly but regrettably wreck my body all over again to avoid the thought of pregnancy. Am I just being silly by being so anxious and nervously avoidant about being pregnant even though starting a family is all I want?