Torn about breastfeeding and feeling guilty...

I’m 34 weeks pregnant. From day 1 I’ve wanted to breastfeed. I’ve done all the research, bought all the necessities for it. But as it’s getting closer I just kinda...don’t want to anymore. :/ Just hearing and reading how time consuming it is and how it’s so mentally exhausting too. I have bad anxiety and have struggled with depression, I’m worried it’ll make it worse. I don’t feel “set” on wanting to do it anymore. I have horribly sensitive nipples, I don’t even like my husband touching them usually. He’s staying home for 10 weeks with me after baby comes and I know with breastfeeding I’m the one that has to get up in the night and there can’t be any “taking turns”. My plan was to breastfeed for 3-6 months and try to pump and freeze as much as possible. I just don’t feel confident that I can do it or that I want to. And I feel sooo guilty about it. Also we don’t qualify for any assistance and formula is so expensive and I won’t be returning to work after he’s born. I feel like if I just try it out and then want to stop I’ll feel like a failure. I’m just so torn on what to do. 😭

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