Am I being irrational?

My husband and I have been TTC. Last month, I had many pregnancy symptoms including some that are exclusive to pregnancy, not pms. I had my hopes so high, then AF came (late). I had no positive PTs last month. Anyway, I’m only 2DPO but I’ve read online that your cm will not be watery after ovulation if you’ve conceived, and that your cervical position will be high and closed if you’ve conceived. My cm is all over the place but I guess otherwise “normal” for me. My CP is low as far as I can tell. I’m only 2DPO but still, just so discouraged based on those two things. Am I being crazy? Would my CP definitely be high if I conceived? I feel so defeated as we did everything “right” last month. Any of you ladies feeling the same? It’s hard when you can’t talk about it with anyone close to you (keeping it a secret).

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