I have 2 husbands! What do I do?

I have been married to 2 people. One is loving and kind and reasonable, the other is angry and abusive and cruel. It's the same person, but it sure as hell doesn't feel like it. What do I do?

He's Mister perfect 99.9% of the time. But the other 0.1% has made me see him in a different light and I just can't unsee him that way. I feel horrible, because I know he regrets it, but I just can't seem to let go of it. I know he is a good man, but how do I forgive and forget the abuse? He has hit me no more than 5-10 times over the years, and hasn't done that in a long time, but I just can't forget it. I doubt he will do it again, but how do I truly forgive him?

Also, by letting go of my bad husband, I would be losing a part of him that I want in my life. At that is what scares me the most. Do I stay with him and hope for the best, or do I let go and lose a person I love because of some incidents that happened a while ago?

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