Does my baby hate me

Question

My 3 week old daughter won’t stop crying I can’t get her to sleep during the night but as soon as my husband grabs her she falls eight to sleep. I get sooo angry at her because he thinks I’m not doing anything to put her to sleep and he says some hurtful things like I don’t know how to be a mom . And sometimes I just wish I wouldn’t of gotten pregnant.  Does she not like me or am I doing something wrong I’m a new mom btw

Answer

There's something definitely wrong here. And it's that man of yours. What is he going on about? He needs to lay off. Tell him to shut up. 
Also anger and frustration can be signs of PPD. And baby can sense it off of you, so if you're wound up and trying to get them to sleep it won't work.

Answer

A 3 week old cries for a reason...hungry, diaper change, wants to be held.  Also 3 week olds don’t tend to sleep well at night.  Just the way it is.  But if you are angry, frustrated and resentful, it’s probably causing unnecessary stress.  It’s nothing that you are doing wrong or that your husband is magically doing right.  Try to stay calm, rock with her or sing to her.  It will get better, you just need to settle into a routine with her and you will start to feel better.

Answer

In what way are you getting angry at her? Maybe she is reacting to that?

Answer

Be patient with her.   It must be hard to spend nine months cuddled and warm, in the dark, to suddenly be out in the world where it's bright and not so snuggly.   Remember that she's learning every day how to be a baby out here.

Answer

It sounds like maybe you might want to talk to your doctor. The first month or so is such a huge adjustment for everyone. If you're finding yourself angry or feeling helpless it could be a sign of post partum depression. Give yourself some grace and remember it's ok to ask for help when you need it. Your partner is out of line bring anything but supportive. You're not a bad mom. You are on a hormonal rollercoaster with very little sleep expected to care for a person that just shot out of you. Your body is still healing. He needs to be patient with you.

Answer

Sounds like she is feeding off your anger

Answer

If you are really tense or stressed out about things. The baby can sense that, so if you are not looking forward to the fight with putting her to sleep she will pick up on it.

Answer

Your baby doesn’t hate you, she’s just feeling that you are upset and getting upset herself. If you are raising your voice she may be startled and scared. The issue here is your husband being an ass about the situation. He needs to support you, not belittle you. At some point during the day when things aren’t so tense, sit him down and tell him that he is hurting you and that it needs to stop. That everyone is stressed at 4 am with a screaming baby and not always showing their best side, but that he is not helping and he is being mean and making a tense situation worse. The postpartum time is hard. The hormone crash is real and the sleep deprivation makes it worse. It’s a time to band together.  If you have been saying rude things back to him (provoked, but still), then apologise for those but stand firm on not accepting bullying from him.
Your baby may be comforted by your husband holding her simply because when he speaks the depth of his voice makes vibrations that are very soothing. He’s probably also a little warmer than you. That doesn’t mean that your baby doesn’t like being with you, just that there are certain things that happen to comfort your baby in the middle of the night that your husband can easily provide. You know what that means? He can do all the night wakings and you can get some sleep!

Answer

Thank you everybody I definitely feel better and I will take everyone’s advice !! Thank so much

Answer

I felt the same way and still do sometimes at 16 weeks. My husband jokes that the baby and I have a “business relationship” because she just wants me for the breast milk. He says I’m a good mom, but I feel like he just says that to be nice. 
Remember that babies don’t have the cognitive ability to show anger to a certain person at this age. You’re just reading into it which is a normal reaction. You are a good mom. You’re not doing anything wrong. Easier said than done. I wish I could take my own advice sometimes. I know I’m right, but when she smiles and my husband and glares at me I just can’t help but feel that she hates me. Hopefully in a couple months we will look back at this and laugh because our babies will show us clearly how much they love us.

Does my baby hate me

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