I think I'm losing this one...

My husband and I have been trying for #3. I think I miscarried in January. Two weeks before my predicted period, I was bleeding heavy with clots and experienced terrible cramps for two days then the bleeding turned to light spotting, then was gone after the third. My doctor told me to watch for additional pain or bleeding. I didn't want to find out if I truly miscarried.

Three weeks ago, my period was late so I took a test and it came out positive. I didn't want to hold too tight, the reality of miscarriages are so great. My husband and I are ecstatic. All three kids would be exactly 2.5 years apart with due date landing on our anniversary.

I was going through the motions of my previous pregnancies: increased hunger, sensitivity to certain smells, bloating and such. Then a week ago, it all disappeared. As quickly as the symptoms came, they disappeared. I was watching my toilet paper more diligently than usual. Wednesday morning, there was a speck of red and later, the paper was dark red with some small clots. I've had bleeding and cramping in my previous two pregnancies but never this early. Regardless, I called in and they said if I felt no pain and wasn't bleeding a lot, they'd have me in the following day for a blood draw, as the labs were closed for the evening. I took another pregnancy test. The line was fading.

I went in the following morning and recieved my hcg results online. My levels were 135 despite average 6-7 weeks started at about 4,000. My husband assured me to not be alarmed and we'd have to wait until the following weeks' results to compare. I bled like a light period with some mild cramping and bloating for two days then some spotting. I took another pregnancy test yesterday and the faintest line showed up if you looked hard enough.

I never really had reason to worry about complications, as most the women in my family didn't have any. But even with my two boys, I always had a low-key fear of losing them. My heart hurts at the thought of losing a baby. Has anyone experienced this before and continued a healthy pregnancy? My mind is a whirlwind of thoughts but I'm trying to stay positive and stress-free in this current world of chaos.

My second blood draw is tomorrow so I will be updating after my results come in. I don't often like to burden others with myself but I'm so afraid and lost. I ask that my fellow Glow sisters think of me too, as you pray today.

UPDATE: My hcg results came back at 6 and doctor has confirmed I've miscarried. I believe it is God's will and I pray for another opportunity to carry.