TRIGGER WARNING

hello

this sounds a bit strange, but i don’t know if i should seek help or not

i feel a bit depressed and everyday i daydream / fantasies about attempting suicide, however, i don’t THINK i’m suicidal because i know i wouldn’t act on it because of my family

i don’t really know how serious this is or anything and would like some advice. i’m 19 and i haven’t had a single close friend since i was 15 and i think this is the cause for a lot of my upset