I am too tired to summarize my last 2 posts so please read those if you need.

I write this from a hospital waiting room. Yesterday afternoon my son spiked a high fever and was coughing. I was told to take him to the hospital. Since he is under a year and had COVID symptoms after being around a person with symptoms he was considered a COVID suspect case and placed in the ICU. Around 3am this morning he stopped being able to properly breathe on his own and was placed on a ventilator. I am not allowed to see him. Because there’s not enough extra PPE for me so I cannot go into the ICU. My son is alone. He could die alone. His test came back positive this morning for COVID-19. Both my test and my husbands are negative (and I’ll add that my parents who saw him last week tested negative before seeing us). The ONLY other person my son has had close contact with is my MIL.

The woman my husband and I agreed on would not get to have close-contact visits (she gets FaceTime and distanced visits such as through a window) until our son has been fully vaccinated for his infant vaccines (for those of you saying I changed my story from fully vaccinated to only certain ones- no I did not, my doctor considers an infant fully vaccinated with his 12m shots which is what I meant). I did NOT force my husband to agree. When we were dating we talked about it, when we were engaged, married before trying, when pregnant— every time I asked him about his mother and how he felt, if he was ok with this. He agreed. He has ALWAYS been vocal with me about how he doesn’t agree with his mother’s anti-vax opinions. His younger sister had measles as a child and he (without anything from me as I never criticized his mother besides to say I didn’t agree and was uncomfortable with an unvaccinated infant being around her) has been very vocal, even to his mother, about how he does not want that for his child. SIL has permanent damage from measles and he has been vocal with his mother even BEFORE he met me about that. I thought we were on the same page. We weren’t apparently. He created phone calls with his mother so I’d think we were still on the same page. Then he brought our son home to them repeatedly. He’s been sick before, in perfect line of visiting her and her having the same symptoms. Maybe it wasn’t that, but he should’ve realized that it COULD have been and stopped. You do not bring a baby around anyone that is SICK. Especially with respiratory symptoms right now.

I sat through our emergency court date virtually from the hospital. It was less than an hour. The judge heard the case, then looked at my husband and said (paraphrased as I don’t remember word for word) ‘you realize that it is illegal for someone with possible COVID to be around others, that they are supposed to quarantine? But you brought your baby to your mothers while she has a fever, cough and would be considered to possibly have COVID. You allowed your mother to kiss that baby on the mouth (there’s a picture). Then you lied to your wife, repeatedly too. Do you have no care for your child’s life and health? Because I don’t think you do. You’re lucky your wife is only going for emergency custody. If I were in her shoes I’d charge you with assault because that’s what knowingly exposing someone to COVID is. It’s assault under the law.’

I was granted full custody, my husband is not allowed to live with us. My MIL has been ordered to get tested and she may be charged (not by me, I’m fine with just a restraining order, but the judge said the prosecutors office is being told to prosecute these kinds of cases to help in efforts to stop COVID spread). My husband and I will divorce. Because he is responsible for doing this to my son. So is MIL, but she never sat down with me and told me she supported what I believed in and that she thought it was for the best too. My husband did that. I will take everything back that was mine before marriage- the house, my car (he has his own anyways), my money. I don’t care if I sound harsh or crazy to some of you. But, this man gave his own son COVID. He may have killed his own child. I have been told my son may die. The doctors have actually sat me down and had this conversation with me. They have told me to prepare myself for the worst because my sons condition has deteriorated very rapidly and they can only really provide supportive care.

If any of you women would just stand by and say I should talk to him, try counselling, etc because throwing away a marriage is wrong. Know I do not do this lightly. I have NEVER threatened my husband with divorce. The only time I have ever discussed divorce with my husband is to say that the only two reasons I’d walk out on this marriage, because I do believe in fighting for a marriage, is if you broke my trust so severely I couldn’t repair it (I thought this really meant cheating), or if he ever laid a hand on me or our children. Don’t think that’s irrational. He has broken my trust so severely there’s no going back. He chose his mother over me and then lied and lied and lied. There’s no going back. I also believe taking a baby that cannot consent to be hugged and kissed by a woman with COVID-symptoms is assault. So he has abused my child. So walking away is my only option.

I will NOT be going for child support, I will NOT stop my husband from seeing his child, I will NOT be leaving him destitute. But he will have to manage supervised visitation until he can be trusted. The judge has said the court will decide when he is trustworthy again, though he’ll likely have supervised visitation for a year and then we’ll reconvene. I will be taking my house, car (he has his own), most of the money- all of which is in my personal bank account (we both only transfer some of our salaries into our joint account for household stuff- this was HIS request, I wanted to do everything jointly) or in my name and I have paid for the mortgage and car payments myself. I’ve had both since before marriage as well. I don’t care that this sounds insane or like I my husband is lucky to get rid of the crazy woman- my husband put our child on a ventilator with his carelessness. He’s not an idiot. He’s an immunologist- as in works towards finding cures, vaccines, e t for diseases. The man is very well educated on viruses, including COVID (also another reason I thought he would was on my side with his mother- the man is very pro-vaccines, it’s his job) Yet he subjected his own child to that. He didn’t protect his child. I don’t care what kind of pressure he was under worth his mother, you chose your CHILD over her. And when it comes down to it- I’m choosing my baby over him. That’s what a mother does. You chose your child. If you wouldn’t then I feel so sorry for your babies. I feel no regret in leaving. I just feel horrible that I didn’t catch him sooner, before my son was exposed to this. And I’m praying he survives this. No child should have to suffer this, especially at the hands of their own parent.

*again please no anti-vax comments- I am not changing my educated (peer-reviewed articles, conversations with doctors, etc) opinion does based off your comments. Please keep those opinions to yourself, we don’t need a nasty debate*

EDIT: MIL is positive for COVID. The judge requested her results be rushed. My child’s grandmother and father may be the reason he doesn’t see his first birthday. And for the person saying I was condemning her without knowing- she went near my child and my husband allowed it while showing symptoms of COVID! Doesn’t matter if she had been negative- she still knew there was a risk! So did he. And our law here doesn’t care if you’re positive or negative- if you have symptoms it’s illegal not to quarantine yourself at home unless it’s proven that it’s something else. So yes MIL and my soon to be ex are so far in the wrong here I’ll condemn them to the deepest pit of Hell for what they’ve done to my baby.

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