FUCK!

So let me get this out of the way , I know woman try so hard to get pregnant and I should be greatful, but I'm not , I'm sad and disappointed in myself, I have no excitement as this will be my 6th pregnancy and I have 3 living children, my oldest is 9 and youngest are 3 and 2 , we are almost out of the diaper stage , I was supposed to be having a tubal laparoscopy done . I was just happy with the 3 kids me and my husband was content . Today I started to have really bad heartburn and I never have that problem so I knew , I went and took a test and sure enough it was a bug fat POSITIVE + , I had taken this at work , haven't told my husband yet , I think I'm going to wait and get ultrasound first to make sure everything is ok then get the kids shirts and reveal it to him on fathers day , might turn out cute as shit might turn out bad . Who knows 🤷‍♀️