Husband showed dick to female friend

So I recently got back into contact with a female friend (I'm female) that I was sexually involved with in the past. We started talking it turns sexual and she questioned why my husband wasn't home with me so we called him on 3way to jokingly question him. they introduced themselves and one thing led to another where my husband becomes involves in the convos and we are talking about her coming for the weekend. Overtime she has questioned if she is comfortable being with us together sexually. Me and her would talk for hours but If I needed to hang up she would call him most times she would let me know she was gonna call him. Me and him was ok with that as she expressed it help with making her more comfortable.

Fast forward she is 4 days away from flying in to spend the weekend with us. I was out with family and me and her would talk, and video throughout the day. But then I video her and she is like " My husband told me to tell you I'm on the phone with my husband . I got confused and a bit attitude I replied " who is your husband" I kinda figured she was talking about mine. But I still was shocked at that title being used by either him or her.

We hang up because my family was ready for dinner. But when I called her back she told me that she just played with herself and was on the phone with my husband. I called him and he said yes she did it on video I was confused because we only video when I'm home because I have her on snapchat they have no social media connections and he tells me he added her snapchat because she said she didn't want to just b on the phone she would rather video talk. When I got home to talk more about it with my husband I learned he also showed her his dick while she masturbated.

I instantly got pissed. Me and him been arguing, I've been crying and upset I feel hurt only because I feel like they did this stuff behind me back not that I cared to be in on it but I cared that my husband didn't consider me or my feelings and overstepped boundaries. I feel like he should not have made seperate communication and added her on snap. As well as he should have stopped her from doing anything without knowing or making sure I was ok. And he with out a doubt shouldn't have showed his dick.

We have video called her before once and she was playing with herself as well as we together has teased and showed her a little glimpse of his dick in efforts to make her comfortable and tease.

She is coming in two days.

I haven't expressed anything to her. As I'm torn between feeling like she knew she was doing something and I wasn't around but in her defense I get why she felt it was OK and that she was doing what she felt I wanted her to do. As I'm the one who will try to bring him in on video when she is sexual.