Me and my partner struggle with really bad depression, anxiety. I have ptsd from physical and mental abuse when I was young.

I finally got off antidepressant and tried a diff route and went with a mood stabilizer and i notice ir working. I’m so much calmer and happier. My partner however for on a diff depression medicine that has turned him even more depressed ( suicidal ) and angry. He is not the kind to be angry or violence. Even though he struggles he’s always the calmer one.

Well earlier this week we got into a small argument and he took it so far and wouldn’t talk to me for the whole night and went and took down all our children’s pictures hanging on the wall and took down our picture we have over his game set.

That was so not like him so that upset me a lot. I got over it. Anyway two nights ago I was expressing my feelings about something he did that upset me and I was SO calm and just casually talking and in the blink of an eye he got SO ANGRY and wouldn’t let me come home and blocked me on everything. We talked the next day and he just was telling me he’s so sad and he was sorry and how much he loves me so I have mental health and can understand to a degree. Until when I went home he punched our fan and completly broke it. I mean it looks like he picked it up and smashed it as hard as he can. I have been terrified cause his medicine is doing the complete opposite and I got him to make a appointment this morning with the doctor so I forgave him and understood cause he took the first step which was calling the dr and therapist. So today.. he came home from his 12 hour shift as a night RN. And he didn’t slepe cause he can’t sleep without the fan it’s hot and he could hear everything going on in this house with our kids and everything and so my mom took them for the day and I kept our 10 month old. He’s very fussy today and I went out and bought a new fan and brought it in the room and OF COURSE it has a rattling noise so he REFUSED to keep it on. Around 2 he came out and SNAPPED at me and was criticizing everything that was either a mess or that he wasn’t “ happy “ to see. I clean and stock the fridge and I had gotten home and didn’t have time to get the house perfect like normal and he made me feel so shitty like I do my very hardest and kill myself making sure everything is perfect for him. 😢 and get kept saying over and over how he hasn’t gotten any sleep at all and it’s my fault and that he has to get up at 6 and go to work again and how his job is SOOO STRESSFUL then having to come home to that. Ima o upset. I went out of my way to get a new fan so he could sleep and again it’s like nothing I do is right. I don’t know if itsworth sticking out: I can understand his mental health concidering I go through the same but hwsnot there for me like I am for him during these times.