An unwanted love triangle.

I’ve been with my current boyfriend for going on to 4 years, but on and off. There came a time where I just felt completely done with our relationship and and didn’t speak for a couple of months, and started engaging in something new with an old friend I met when I was 16 years old. Hadn’t spoke to him in 7 years since. Well he’s not from my state and came to visit me for a whole week, and everything was great almost perfect, but during the time I kept thinking of my current boyfriend (ex at the time), so he eventually contacted me wanting to work things out. I explained I was with someone new, but I couldn’t pull through with my new relationship because I didn’t want to leave my child without a father if I had decided to move to a whole new state.

I’m currently with my boyfriend and everything has been good. Better than what we used to be. I love him and care about him a lot, but we’ve gone through so much that now it just doesn’t feel the same anymore. I love him, but not the same, and everyday I think of the guy who visited me and hated the fact of ending things with him. He seriously has been the nicest person to me. I just sometimes wish I had let go of my boyfriend a long time ago when it was toxic and before our child was around, and then maybe I would of been with the other guy living a different life. Possibly more happier.

Am I wrong for feeling this way? I care for two people at the same time. I don’t know how to shake this off, and just be in peace and happy.