I'm 43, almost 44. My cycles are very regular 28 to 29 days...before Clomid. After Clomid, 30 to 31 days. AMH is almost 2, and progesterone levels show I ovulate. Just had a saline ultrasound done and 11th <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IUI</a>. Had one chemical pregnancy on our 2nd <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IUI</a>. Doctor said "everything looks good, no reason to stop trying." This was our first round on 100mg Clomid, and then 2mg estradiol. We did 3 rounds of 50mg Clomid before. I'd have to take a loan out for <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a>, and what if my eggs are no good then? Another round that I'm certain to not afford, and with the extra expense of a donor egg? A baby I'm not even related to? Will I love it the same? We don't qualify to adopt a baby. What if the egg donor is just in it for the money? What if she's a sociopath that knows how to pass all those tests they give? Why did it take so long to be able to get more financially stable so we could have a baby? Why wasn't I born straight so it would have been easier to get pregnant? Is not being able to get pregnant punishment for everything I've ever done wrong? How is it that so many evil, terrible, awful people have babies, but not me? I here of how people kill their own children every day, but I can't have one? I eat right and take vitamins for months and months of trying, and then I hear how some alcoholic meth addict is on here 5th pregnancy? If I get a loan for <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a>, will my 20 year old car be able to make it till I get done paying the <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a> off? If it doesn't, how do i get to work to pay off the loan? Much less for anything else? How do I work and be able to go through <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">ivf</a> if I live 3 hours from the facility? Why is it that <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a> seems to be only an option for the wealthy? Why is the US health care system so behind the rest of the world? Why are so many who have so much so greedy?

I just want a baby. That's all. I'm so tired.