Just Want A Baby But Then I Dont 😓

I really want a baby with my so

I wanna wait though 🥺 so hard ugh

I dont even think i can bare children had 2 miscarriages.. (one in june2018 & sept2019)& 1 chemical pregnancy on june 8th .. i also smoke weed ..i want to stop ..i need some advice i am young but just want 1 child thats all i need im not currently trying but i want to but then i dont.. its too much stress ttc but when you let it just happen its so much better..