I think I’m done.

I think I’m done with trying to conceive a child. We have been trying since November of 2016. It started out fun and exciting, which quickly become depressing and a chore. I don’t enjoy sex like I did when I was younger and maybe that plays into how much I actually wanted to “try”. I was told when we first started trying was everything looked normal. We never did get testing done on him to see if things were okay however. We even bought baby stuff to put away to be prepared. Fast forward to this year, countless ovulation tests, countless pregnancy tests, countless days depressed/crying, and nothing. As far as steps taken to help we both were on vitamins and were eating better. He stopped/cut down on smoking but can’t go a day without drinking. I stopped taking vitamins honestly. I tried to stop thinking and tracking in the hopes that “your body will do its thing just stop stressing”. I couldn’t tell you at this point if I actually ovulate, tests show up positive for ovulation but I have yet to actually become pregnant. He’s to stubborn or prideful to go see a doctor and find out any information regarding his fertility. So I just don’t see a point in continuing this journey if I’m the only one trying. It’s a difficult decision but I really think in my heart I have made peace with it and I’m okay with closing this chapter of my life for good. I can’t keep dragging myself through an emotional roller coster every time someone mentions or I see someone I know pregnant.

Anyone else in a similar situation? Or even advice to move on?

Before anyone asks I have tried talking to him about my concerns and it just seems to go nowhere.