Anyone else terrified of becoming a mom?

Being a mom is all I have ever wanted to be. I have thought about it so much, and since the day my husband and I have gotten married we’ve tried. We got pregnant last year, and had a miscarriage which broke me. I’m now pregnant again and 37 weeks. Up until this week, I have been beyond excited and ready to be a mom. I have enjoyed buying all the baby stuff and obsessing over the fact that I will finally have my dream come true of being a momma.

But recently I have been reading a lot of books about caring for newborns, the lack of sleep for the next year or two, post partum depression and so on and now I am miserably terrified. Like the excitement I had is now complete fear and helplessness. I should mention that I already struggle with anxiety and take lexapro which kinda helps. I’m so afraid I will get PPD, and I keep thinking to myself....what if I am terrible at being a mom. What if my child and I don’t bond? What if I can’t handle the no sleep? What if I become a terrible wife through it all? I’m just seriously scared now and I feel like such an asshole for it because of how much I wanted this. How can I no longer be excited for my sweet babygirl. She deserves better.