Feeling off

So Idk honestly I feel super off I’ve been feeling super off lately idk y I’ve been thinking about a lot of things my boyfriend and I were fighting a lot and after talking about things r better and we haven’t fought in like 2 weeks but I feel like things r off he use to be my best friend and idk we were fighting so much about me just talking to him how I feel I feel like the friendship we had has faded he apologized so much and said he can tell he’s acting differently and can tell he’s been getting upset more quickly and about things he shouldn’t be upset about and that he wants to grow snd be the best friend that I had for so long before we started dating. But idk I feel really off and idk if I’m just tired with struggling with my college summer term if it’s me taking birth control correctly for the first time in months or if it’s my relationship or him or everything. We’re going to college soon and I’m scared that things will just fall apart and then we would break the promise that if we break up we would stay friends.

Also my sex drive has CRASHED like it is basically non existent. I’m a virgin but I have given my boyfriend head a few times but now I literally don’t want or feel anything sexually when my boyfriend visited me on the weekends all I want is forehead kisses and cuddles (which is all he does happily) but I feel like that shows that something is wrong but it could also because I’m restarting taking my birth control pill correctly. What also makes things worse is idk y but recently my old thoughts of what I was taught when I was younger is how anything u do before marriage takes away how valuable u r and it means you have less to offer etc. which I know isn’t true but idk y I keep thinking about that and how now I don’t have much to offer if I don’t end up with my boyfriend he’s my first kiss and.. (tmi) first fingering and first time i gave a blow job. He’s my best friend and everything we have ever done I love and has been amazing and he always makes sure I’m ok and want to do everything and always checks in with me so Idk rn I just want to be held which he has been telling me is fine but I feel like this is a bad feeling like idk honestly I’m super confused lol sorry for the length feel free to comment and of ur thoughts ladies!

Edit: I might just be overthinking things I just want to forget everything to go back to when the future didn’t scare I really wish I knew how things ended I wish I knew where life takes me and us and just how we end up. He’s still my best friend one of my best friends I love him he was there for me so so long I don’t want to lose him I just haven’t been 100% for like 3 weeks. 3 weeks that to me have felt like a few days that have been so hard for me. He’s been trying to help but I just feel so off almost numb I’m scared I don’t love him or just or enough or he doesn’t love me idk My emotions r literally a mess