Chatsite... Porn... Marriage...

Hi everyone 💔

Recently I posted a post and I cannot seem to find it.

Ps.. I have also put some more things in just to get it off my chest.

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My heart is so broken and I just dont know what to do or say anymore 😰

He told me that what his done still haunts him and hurts him that he cant sleep at night because he hurt me!

Really?????!!!! Why is he doing it AGAIN?!?!

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We supposed to get married now in February but I just hope this virus will go away so I can also go and see my family.

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Anyway... He joked with me the other day and said go on my phone I have nothing to hide. Soooo what does a woman do, she goes and looks it's just natural because I mean come on.. Every couple is allowed to go on each others phones or is it wrong?

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Right.. So.

My thing is that, I have not done this in any of my relationships so why do men do this?

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I see and think like this...

If you really do love someone and care for them especially respect them, you should be honest and faithful to that person only or am I wrong??!

I believe that, no matter how that person is built.. LOVE is what counts! It's what you have built in yrs of being together.

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I understand and know that you need to spice things up in a relationship but I just feel that he doesn't want to do things with me anymore.

He doesn't want to have walks with me.. Not going to movies.. Or just laying in bed and talk about whatever.

Look...... I must say that, Both of us are very busy and stressed with work as we work together at a place but that doesn't mean that we as a couple should stop all of that and just do and think of work!

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He keeps telling me that he really does love me and his going to marry me and no one else but I feel so hurt because of what I saw on his phone.

So all I am asking is for some Advice please? HOW do I talk to him about this???

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Sometimes I just feel that, no matter how hard I try I just feel that I fail with this because I feel that he wants me to look because he doesn't know how else or what can the thing be?!

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Ps...

Just know we have been through alot together. We've been apart for more than 2yrs because of all the ups and downs with having family so far and with work and so on.

We have also been trying for a baby for so long now that I feel like I can never do that for him. I feel so useless and it hurts because i so badly want to be a mom 😥

There is so much that I also struggle with my health because I have the symptoms of endometriosis.

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Is this for me??

Will I ever have a family of my own??

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Please no rude comments.

❤ Blessings to all❤