Wrong to Miscarriage ?

I was in a relationship with a boy who hit me from 16 til I was 18 and I had a miscarriage and finally left him. I just married my husband and I feel like I have to hide the fact that the day I miscarried breaks my heart Dec. 3.. He's completely supportive and makes that day .. we'll as good as it can be. But should I still feel empty like this..? We've been TTC for 3 years and no luck and I feel guilty for .. well mourning.