So things in my relationship have been a little weird for a while now. (Together 11 months). There were things I didn't like most of the relationship, and we quarantined together 2 months at the beginning of covid. We really were a great team, we had a decent time getting to see each other more- but then, I guess things I've never been that happy with started to seem like bigger and bigger and bigger issues- as well as the sex life tanking, which already, wasn't exactly what I would hope for (bf is the least kinky person & it turns me off, but I respect him & his body & what he's not comfortable with. I wanted to overlook that- as he is at least very attentive to getting me off, I know tons of women do not have that.)

But then he sort of became scared to have sex with me? And so it changed the dynamic in our relationship such that I was never comfortable coming on to him, so it became really nonsexual, and I really don't like the change. I tried to address it many times, with some improvement, but now I find it hard to be interested in having sex with him- like, I know it'll be ok, but it's not fun for me. I feel uncomfortable. Our sex has become awkward & I feel less attracted to him.

I love him, and that's not the reason for the breakup because we could work on that.

The main reason that leaves me unsatisfied with my relationship is feeling a consistent lack of emotional connection, and my boyfriend is just not very good at being supportive. He tries sometimes, which I appreciate a lot! But if I am sad he will literally ignore me for hours sometimes? Or just say something positive- and I'm optimistic at the end of the day, I don't say I'm upset or having a bad moment to feel dismissed. I know he means well but I'm sick of it. I know my feelings are my own responsibility, but it sucks he sometimes makes me feel worse & I've mentioned this to him like 10,000 times- he still fucking does it.

Then, he just doesn't care to communicate emotionally in general, when we have serious talks he's good, but otherwise he is stoic & tells me he doesn't want to have any conversations about emotions.

He's not intellectually stimulating at this point. He doesn't care about philosophy or science or anything. He cares about religion & listens to youtube conspiracy theorists. And bro... I am tired at this point, ok? It was interesting at first because he has a unique worldview- but that worldview excuses ignoring systemic racial oppression & that's embarrassing.

I am 1000% for BLM & antifa. I am anti fascist. My boyfriend thinks BLM is part of some satanist agenda because of Soros.

That is not where differences end.

My boyfriend's simple-mindedness used to be cute & refreshing. Now I feel like he doesn't understand covid because he might have exposed me to it by his ignorance. And he was so protective- now I just don't even feel safe. (He let me come over not telling me his roommate was sick.)

This is all just really hard at this point. I feel like I'm being held back because he has an addiction too & can't really move on with his life until he addresses that.

So why am with him? because he actually treats me amazingly and never yells- he's so sweet and cuddly! We had real trust & he was my best friend for awhile.

It's sad to think of letting that go- I feel like I need a deeper partner & he should probably find himself post-addiction tbh. I wanted to blame it on covid or my attachment issues. But it seems that's not all of the problem. :/

I've never had such a positive relationship with no abuse- so it's hard to let go, he is a great partner- but I feel we may be too incompatible for long term.