FTM feeling down and stressed



I’m a first time mum. I waited for my little baby for years, we tried. The one month I stopped trying and just actually gave up he happened. It’s been a roller coaster ride.. I was told my baby was too big and that there could be complications. The pregnancy wasn’t the most enjoyable. I raised whilst being pregnant and after giving birth how lonely I really am. I try not to get too sad but I feel like such a bad mum. I’m trying to breastfeed my baby until he is 6 months but my family don’t agree with him still being breastfed at 4 months. This puts a major strain as I’m constantly being told my breast milk is disgusting and makes my baby unwell 😔. My baby has reflux and so he spits up a lot. Sometimes it just squirts out. I have started to feed him little bit often and I’m just seeing how it goes. My relationship with my family has been really strained between my family and myself. I want to keep breastfeeding but I’m getting depressed and I feel so crappie about my parenting. It’s not nice to hear your breast milk is nasty and is making your child unwell. I don’t have a great diet but it’s not terrible. I like the odd lemonade 😔. Anyways my baby seems super attached and always looks for me in the room and stares at me. I’ve been told I’m making him too attached and too clingy. Another thing I’m doing wrong. I don’t know what to do anymore. Now my little one is teething and today a weird red thing came up on his lips and in the corner and I feel like I’m so crap at being a mum. I don’t know what to do anymore. Any ideas ?