I’m a bad mom.

I’m a bad mom. I love my son and would never intentionally hurt him. However Ik my mental health is hurting him. When shit hits the fan I over react like crazy. He sees me yelling and throwing things when I get to a point that feels like there’s no return. I’m seeking therapy and on medicine. I want to do better then my parents did. All I ever knew was screaming,throwing, and hitting that’s what I grew up watching and Ik it’s caused a lot of my mental health issues. I do not want this for my children. I want them to be happy healthy well adjusted adults. I am not what my babies need. I’m so grateful they have a wonderful father but Ik they need their mom. They need me to strong and together. They need me and I need to be what they need. I’m a bad mom. It makes me hate myself. I hate myself.

To my babies. I am so sorry and mommy is trying to do better. Hopefully one day I’ll be the role model they deserve.