i dated this guy for around a month and a half from november until december. we didn’t have a good breakup, despite both of us knowing that we cared for each other deeply. it hurt a lot then.

in January he apologized for all the pain he’s put me through and i apologized for my toxic behavior. (it’s my coping mechanism when things don’t go my way or get too serious)

i don’t want to make this post too long

but ever since january we have had this cycle of growing close and then drifting apart every few months.

in february he started talking to a new girl and i was happy for him even though it still hurt. he was with her for three months until he felt like he was unhappy. she was heartbroken and even i thought he made a mistake. a month later he texted me and asked me why we haven’t been in touch. ever since (it’s been a month and a half) we talk regularly. i’ve opened up to him about my IB grade, situations with other boys, and i even told him that i wish we met as friends not as more, to which he agreed.

i was trying to poorly manifest him to text me i don’t know why but i was thinking about him a lot before this incident and maybe god was trying to tell me something but i fell asleep.

i woke up to 5 missed phone calls from my friend and my other friend who’s closer to him calling me

he had run over someone and is in prison

he’s only 16

my heart shattered

and i’ve been having such a strong reaction to what happened

i’ve only known him for less than a year, but i’m absolutely heartbroken

i haven’t slept since i heard

i haven’t been eating properly and i’ve been crying my eyes out

i am very close to someone who’s known him for years,

my strong reaction took her by surprise and when i told her i was upset she told me

“imagine how we, his best friends feel”

and to some extent i agree. i wasn’t as close to him as his most recent ex was, or all these people

and i feel like my strong reaction is too much and kind of dramatic.

but i genuinely cant stop thinking about him, talking about him and praying for him.

i cant stop crying either

i don’t know what to do?