My mother in law offered to throw my husband and I a baby shower months ago telling us how excited she was for her first grandchild and we accepted. It’s coming up in a month and I’ll be almost 8 months pregnant at the time. My sister in law also offered to help.

A month ago she said she was only going to invite a handful of people she likes because no one else would want to come for her event. We did extend the invite to all of her side of the family because we didn’t want any hurt feelings. She also told us she didn’t want to send out invitations so we did everything digitally for her.

We also found out she never even looks at our gift registry at all and bought us a 3’ tall stuffed unicorn, in case we had a girl (we decided not to know the gender) and a wrap baby carrier which we did not want. We have her our registry 2 months ago and she didn’t even bother to look.

A week or so ago she asked we help her pay for the food. She wanted us to pay for burgers and with the party being at about 1 I thought we could avoid doing an official lunch or dinner. We would bring something but I’m not comfortable having her go get the food because I know she’d pick up a lot more and ask us to pay for most.

Now she’s asking me to come over early to help her clean her house.... at 7 1/2 months pregnant. Am I rude to say no? I know she’s asking nicely but I feel like we should have just hosted if this is going to be such an issue for her. For my husband’s and his fraternal twin brother’s birthday party two months ago she never asked us to come over before to clean, why now?