I’m 5-6 weeks pregnant with the second, and my husband and I are excited to tell our families. We’d like to announce it to them in person in the next week or two, because like we did with our first we want them to know from them beginning. Everyone is joking/guessing that we’ll get pregnant soon so it will likely not be a surprise to anyone.

My SIL, who I’m close with, just had a miscarriage a few weeks ago when she was 6-7 weeks along. She and her fiancée were not really “trying” to get pregnant, but they want kids soon and figure “what the heck let’s give it a shot.” She got pregnant immediately, and I guessed she was pregnant when she wasn’t feeling well one day. She confided in me that she was, but no one else knew other than her fiancée (not even my husband- her brother). She asked me not to tell anyone of the pregnancy or miscarriage. She had this early miscarriage two weeks ago, and said she was sad but told me that she feels better about it now and they are considering trying again for a baby.

My question is: how do I tell her that I am pregnant in the most sensitive way? I have an ultrasound appointment in a week and hopefully everything goes well so we can announce to our families right afterwards. Should I tell her separately before everyone? I think my husband wants us to tell her together, but I’m nervous she will be upset about the news, which could be heightened if she finds out in front of other people. I also cannot tell my husband the reason I want to tell her privately.

I also see her a lot (we live close by) and my growing first-trimester nausea and fatigue will be hard to hide for another week, if not more.

What do I do? Has anyone been in this situation before?