Everyday she does something new is a night I lay wake watching her sleep. As if any change could make it more likely she wont wake up. Every leap she makes, every new product we try, any slight deviation in the routine we have keeps me awake. Every product designed or marketed to make me feel more secure in getting a couple hours of sleep has failed.The only time I'm able to sleep is when shes in my arms. When I hold her I feel safe. I feel as if shes safe. I dont give into that feeling because I also know the dangers of sleeping like that are more likely to happen than the ones I stay awake imagining. I do eventually sleep either by passing out from exhaustion or when my husband watches her. It's only been 2 month I know I'll either get use to living like this or eventually learn to cope with these new anxieties that I've been faced with.