So we are going up on the first anniversary of my Papa passing. He was the first death I've ever had to grieve and I honestly went through an anger stage, then a crying stage and lately have been EXTREMELY numb and disconnected to it. I found out I was pregnant with my son on veteran's day which is an important day to my Papa, about two months after he passed. We weren't trying (or avoiding) having a baby so it kind of felt like Grandpa had something to do with it. My son is 1 month old tomorrow, and I've shared some photos with family and now my aunt is comparing my son's "smile" (fart face) with my Papa. They look nothing alike btw, this kid is a carbon copy of my husband who is half Mexican. The facial structure, his features all look like his dad, the only thing that resembles me is his nose and I get that from the other side of my family. I've honored my Papa with a special onesie, I had his picture on my bedside in the hospital, and I definitely feel like he is watching over us and here still. But I feel there's a line with what feels like using my baby as a grieving process. So I get shes handling her grief by finding little things to remind her and bring joy but I HATE that it's my son. To constantly compare my son to Papa feels like my newborn is this sad reminder of death, not my little newborn baby I've been so excited for. The postpartum blues are kicking in now and I have it managed with therapy currently but I'm starting to struggle. I want to tell them to knock it off, my son isn't his reincarnation, I dont want him to be a symbol of grief.. but I also recognize they are grieving and remembering him in their own ways and I dont have to view my son in that light, they can remember him their way and I can choose not to and to grieve another way. But I also want what's best for my son. Will it mess with his head, make him feel unloved or less of an individual if they are comparing him to his great grandfather? Does anyone have any experience on this? Dont get me wrong I LOVE my Papa, and my son, I'm just so freaking upset, to the point of almost anger and I cant tell if this is postpartum, grief, or if I'm being an asshole.. I want to talk to her about some boundaries with this, even just asking her not to share that with me because it's too painful and not what I want for my son.. but I also want to be there for her since I know shes still grieving and I KNOW it's not malicious, she just misses him too 😔