Are we enablers? What to do with my SIL who has a 1 yr old and hasn’t living with us since leaving her abusive ex.

My husband’s sister is 10 years younger than him. They barely grew up together but are the only close family they have on the east coast. She dated an abusive guy for a year and after a fight she called us, we helped her get a restraining order and she came home with us. She’s always lived 45 minutes away from us. Eventually she would go out on weekends and just not come home. She didn’t officially move out or have a conversation with us.

About a month later we were going to pick her up for my mother’s funeral and she posted a picture on Facebook w the guy and a positive pregnancy test. My husband pretty much cut ties with her until 6 months later when he had surgery and she came to the hospital. They made up.

When the baby was 3 months old she left the abuser again. She was destroyed, barely any semblance to her old self. My husband helped move her out, find a new place to live and paid for her rent and food since her ex didn’t let her work.

Then she got sick and we ended up taking care of the baby for 15 days so she could get tested for covid and get better. During this time she was having major issues with her roommates not social distancing so she came to move in officially with us.

She’s majorly immature and relays on us for help constantly for the baby. She is working again which is great. I’ve been taking care of the baby to help out 3 days a week. Her ex doesn’t leave her alone, so much so that now the only communication they have is from my husband. She’s had to block her phone and has major mental health issues. She refuses to get help.

Anytime she’s not responsible for the baby she goes out. She lies about what she’s going to do. Someone has been giving her roses and chocolates. She says it’s just a friend that randomly found her car. (Lies she doesn’t know anyone in this city, she had to have given him out address.) The ex knows the guy so has been causing more drama and stress than ever before even calling this new guys mom up to talk shit about her.

My husband is immune suppressed. We have been strict with staying home but she goes to parties and out constantly. She’s also extremely sensitive to criticism and any conflict and just says “yes” to whatever we say and then does whatever she wants. She doesn’t help with chores, expects us to buy everything, panics about doing things alone and has constant conflict with my husband.

The baby is great and we don’t want to put the baby in an unsafe situation. Mom doesn’t care about her sleep schedule and has no routine when she’s with the baby, she just wants to have “fun” and take cute pictures for Instagram.

I don’t know what to do. My SIL is putting us all at risk for Covid-19. My husband is beyond stressed and I am the one constantly taking care of the baby’s needs because mom doesn’t notice or is on her phone.

Please help!