Nervous about second baby?

Question

We really want to have a second, my husband talks about it often but I'm extremely nervous to do it all over again. Pregnancy, postpartum, newborn stage etc. 
I struggled greatly with PPD/ANXIETY but I believe a lot of it stemmed from being a first time mom, not knowing what I was doing and having zero support or help from family/friends. 
I feel that since I "know" what I'm doing this time around, I wouldn't suffer as much mentally as I'd be a little more prepared.
My heart really wants another but my mind keeps worrying me and questioning if it's the right choice. I just struggled so much the first time that I worry it will be even harder the second time. 
Any advice or similar experiences would be greatly appreciated ❤

Answer

I’m not a march 2019 mom but I stumbled upon this post and relate so much to it! My first was born end of Nov 2018. I am 31 weeks pregnant with baby number 2. I also felt I struggled hard with #1, being a first time mom, breastfeeding for the first time, sleep deprivation and not knowing what was normal and constantly wondering if something was wrong. I don’t think I had PPD but I do think that I suffered more than I needed to from PPA. Luckily it got better and I didn’t need meds for it but I often wonder what this second time will bring. I am feeling very oddly optimistic about it because I feel like I have a much better understanding of what its like to have a newborn/infant and I feel more relaxed about it. I know it will be hard. But I also know how quickly things change and how quickly they grow 💜

Answer

I have two kids, 2y and 5months age difference. With my first I had been crying and depressed a lot during the first months. I had my mom and husband who helped me but as a first time mom it was still really hard. After my second child (boy) was born, who was way more difficult then my daughter (and my mom died so I had not that much help as before) I found it much more easier then with the first one, no depression because when we found our routine I managed to cope with both kids very well. It is not a walk in the park most days but I really think I managed it better because I just knew what needs to be done and if there was a problem I told myself he will grow out of it I just have to wait a few weeks and it will change for the better. The first months are tough but its incredible to see them grow up together and create the one of a kind bond. Oh and the second child is way more indepedent then the first ;).

Answer

I’m due with my second in October so my March son will be 19 months. My friend promises me that her dtr is better behaved, better at independent play, understands and communicates well so that’s promising. I do notice big changes almost daily that leave me saying “wow” but I’m still nervous.
Nervous bc first time around I was nursing every 2 hours hours for 40 mins and glued to the couch. Nervous bc my son is clingy and doesn’t let me sit for for than a minute. Nervous bc nothing keeps his attention for more than a few moments. Nervous bc I’ll be sleep deprived and cranky (and crying from cracked nipples and PPD the first time) and I don’t want to be like that in front of my son. 
I think that ppl do this all the time. Ppl have twins, triplets etc and survive. All my friends and neighbors and family say 2 under two is a very hard transition but I won’t regret it. There are days being pregnant, exhausted and sore now that I’m cranky and can’t keep up with my son. 
I’ll do the best I can and hope that I can efficiently nurse and play/feed my toddler and keep up with important house chores and cook....but I see a messy house and lots of take out this Fall.

Answer

I only have my March baby so I can’t really give you advice on having more than one kid, but I know how you feel. I dream of having a second one and some days I think I should just go for it and that some people have 8 kids and they are still alive 🤣 then I freak out hoping my period isn’t late, thinking my daughter is still so little and needs so much attention, that I’m so tired, that I do it all alone except for the occasional “help” from my husband, that financially we could give her so much more if she were an only child... 
Ultimately I know we will have a second baby and we won’t be able to wait too long as I’m 33 and we needed fertility help conceiving my daughter because of my husband’s low sperm count. But I know that if I were 25 and didn’t possibly need another fertility treatment to conceive I would 100% wait until my daughter was at least 4 to even start trying again. I love having time to be with her, to teach her things and to watch her grow. I would love to be able to give my second child the same, and although I’m sure it’s never the same once you have more than one, I would like for my first to be more independent before taking care of another newborn. 
One of my friends had a baby January 2019, another one January 2020 (they are 11months apart) and she’s already pregnant again. She loves that her children are close in age but often talks about how sad she is she can’t spend much time reading and cuddling with her youngest or that she’s always super busy and doesn’t get to play with the eldest...
I think there’s no right or wrong, you have to do what feels right for your family. Other moms that came before us have been there and survived so you can do this 💪 I think you’ll know when the time is right

Nervous about second baby?

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