How do I deal with these feelings?

Idk how exactly to explain it, but I feel like since I started having a hard time TTC, I've been looking for ways to replace my desire for kids. Like buying stuff for my nieces and nephews, and working on projects, and cleaning, and pretty much doing anything to keep busy and ignore my desire to be a mom so I can pretend I don't want to be one to try to avoid feeling hurt, but I've discovered I feel hurt anyways. Idk how to not feel this hurt that I may not be able to have kids.