Does he not want me (need more opinions)

He’s been depressed off and on (not diagnosed). Sometimes he’ll be sad he overthinks and gets insecure. Then he’ll be not as bad. Recently it’s been more on then off. He talked abt a break from our relationship supposedly to figure out his head cause he says he’s always depressed now. He says he loves me but has said stuff like “we DID have something special, key word in there.” And when I asked him if he wanted me he said he didn’t know what he wanted. He’s making it seem like it’s cause he’s unhappy cause of his mind but yet has said things like that and is not talking to me. I broke up w him out of being upset that he couldn’t say he wanted me after us being together for 3 years. We talked abt it the next day and he says he’s gonna try to figure out his head and I told him I’d give him all the space he needs but I’m scared. I love him I don’t want us to end. He says he’s being a bad bf cause he can’t be there for me like I am for him. He says he hates his life but won’t see a therapist. I just hope it’s not because he just doesn’t want me anymore. Advice? (I’m 18 hes 20)

Edit: he told me he has feelings for me and loves me but his mind isn’t in the right place...